Behind the Curtain

What’s Going On

It’s Spring in RVA

I do not enjoy yardwork.

Every Spring I allow our grass to get exceptionally high, because I don’t want to cut down the wildflowers.

Yesterday was a gorgeous day. Temperature was in the 60s and the sun shone all day long.

Daffodils are waving their trumpets in the breeze and the blueberry bushes have blossoms. The rosemary plant has these delicate white blooms and there are tiny blue blooms hiding amidst the grass.

My favorites are the violets. In a week or so the buttercups will sprout.

There’s a county inspector who comes by annually and drops off note a once the grass has grown to 12 inches.

I then have month before he returns, at which point I get a citation. If I haven’t cut the grass within a month he’s supposed to send a crew out at my expense.

I have his card and we talk. He knows why I let the grass get high. He knows I cut it right before the deadline. That generally mid-May. During that time our front yard looks like a meadow.

Last year, I broke down and cut the grass earlier than I had to, because it had just gotten too high. But just looking at the blues, and yellows, whites, and purples against the green lifts the spirit.

I’ll share more pictures as our other volunteers break forth.

The Women’s Storytelling Festival

The Women’s Storytelling Festival, hosted by Better Said Than Done, will take place March 24 – 26, 2023, in-person at The Old Town Hall, 3999 University Drive, Fairfax, VA 22030. 

The festival will also be live-streamed online. Showcasing a wide range of storytelling styles, the 2023 festival features 15 storytellers performing in-person, 5 storytellers performing in a virtual-only showcase, and 7 storytellers competing in the People’s Choice Storytelling Contest, in-person and online. 

All ticket holders, whether in-person or virtual, will be able to watch the festival videos for one month after the festival concludes.

For schedules, other details, and tickets, visit
https://www.bettersaidthandone.com/womens-festival/

The most powerful person in the world is the storyteller. Steve Jobs

The Flying Wallendas

Those daring young men and women on the flying trapeze. Stars of The Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus. Featured act under The Big Top. Daredevils working without a net risking their lives for the entertainment of the masses.

They started working without a net when it got lost in transit and as you know in Show Business the show must go on.

This story may be apocrypha. In February of 1978, Karl Wallenda walked an inclined wire to the top of the Eiffel Tower. The days leading up to the event all he talked about was the perfect Martini that would await him. The day came, he ascended the wire, without safety harness, of course, and when he stepped onto the platform at the top his wife handed what was reported to be a perfectly prepared and chilled Martini.

The next month he was in San Juan, Puerto Rico to walk a flat tightrope between the towers of the Condado Hotel. It was said that all he talked about during the days leading up to this event was not falling.

March 22, 1978, he fell to his death.

As I mentioned, these may be apocryphal. But the story does illuminate something my dad frequently told me.

“Keep your eyes on your goal. For if you focus on the shoals, you will surely find yourself among them.”

He would also remind me that fear is normal, it’s natural. Fear encourages us not to do stupid things. Risky things. Things that could get us hurt or killed. Fear is for our survival.

That said, courage is when you overcome your fears and do the things you have to do.

So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge that scares you, focus on what needs to be done, and wear a safety harness if it’s available. 

Because being brave doesn’t mean you have to be reckless. Just that you have what it takes to get the job done.

I’d Love to Hear from You

When have you faced your fears to get the job done?

Til next time, 
Gayle Turner
Executive Producer

RIP Sammy Marques

The world lost a renaissance man yesterday.
Sammy Marques was a chef, a painter, a carpenter, a writer, a linguist, a comedian, an actor, and one of our storytellers at The Storytellers Channel.

More importantly, he was a husband, a father, a grandfather, and a friend not just to me, but to so many.

Born in Massachusetts, the son of missionaries, he lived abroad in Ireland and Portugal, before attending boarding school in Canada. 

He related that experience in his one-man-show, Did God Call When I Was Out? Did He Ask For Me By Name?

He served in Naval Intelligence during the Vietnam era monitoring radio transmissions.

He studied painting in college in New Jersey.

His first wife, Barbara, and he operated a bakery in Maine.
He worked the stand-up comedy circuit in NYC.

When he settled in Richmond, he established himself as a fine woodworker. He designed and crafted the built-in desk in my library.

He ran a bakery on Richmond’s Northside MacArthur Avenue.

And he acted in many a local theatre productions. The most notable performance was his portrayal of Charlie Baker in Larry Shue’s The Foreigner. Sammy could bring an audience to near hysteria just by cutting his eyes.

You can brighten your day by clicking on this link. It will take you to his page on The Storytellers Channel.

While I thoroughly enjoyed working with Sammy, his greatest impact on my life was his character.

He once said to me, “Only people who are hurting, hurt others. It’s a vicious cycle. And it’s going to stop with me. I am no longer going to respond to hurt with hurt.”
I adopted that mindset that day. I strive every day to be a part of the solution, not the problem.

The second biggest impact Sammy had in my life was when he married my ex-wife, Deborah. I was thrilled when they got together.

I mourn her loss, today, as I suffer with his ex-wife, Barbara, his children, Titus and Gratia, his grandchildren, Sage and Sully, and with all of those who saw him perform, ate one of his delicious meals, reveled in his woodwork, gazed upon his artwork, or was the recipient of his smile and gentle humor.

We’re the better for having had him walk among us.

May flights of angels sing him to his rest.

“Only people who are hurting, hurt others. It’s a vicious cycle. And it’s going to stop with me. I am no longer going to respond to hurt with hurt.”

—Sammy Marques, Storyteller and All-Round Mensch

I’d Love to Hear from You

Don’t take your friends for granted. They may be gone tomorrow and while they will live on in your heart, nothing beats sharing time with them, now.

Til next time, 
Gayle Turner
Executive Producer

What’s Going On

Integrity

My grandson will be going away to college in the Fall. In addition to loving him dearly, I have great respect and admiration for this young man. He’s a good student, a disciplined athlete, and a talented artist. He’s mild mannered, gracious and demonstrates his love for his momma in his actions and demeanor.

I want to give him a token to take with him to school. A talisman that will serve as a touchpoint to home. Leaving home is such a time of wonder. The world presents us with opportunities we may never have thought about. We must make decisions that can have life altering consequences.

We are tempted to do things we would never do if we had to come home that night and face our parents. This period of transition is full of peaks and pits. It’s a time when our values are tested.

I’ve been revisiting the writings of Coach John Wooden. At the moment, I’m enamored of Life Wisdom – Quotes from Coach John Wooden: Winning With Principle 

If you can think of an alternative I might bestow upon him at this exciting period that will be easy to engage with, please share it with me.

“Stories are how we remember; we tend to forget lists and bullet points.” 

—Robert McKee, Storynomics Author, Speaker

VOTE

As a child, my parents modeled the behavior they thought important. Attending church on Sundays was not optional. Volunteering was a constant. My mom volunteered at the Red Cross and would take me along. I learned to edit film repairing damaged Red Cross Water Safety films. The behavior that made the biggest impression on me was voting.

Right up until my mom died she voted in every election. She had fallen and broken her wrist. She couldn’t drive and the polling place was too far for her to walk. She asked me over and over again would I be there to take her to vote. When we got to the poll she held onto my arm and shuffled from the car across the street and up the long sidewalk into the poll.

There was a long winding line inside and she was quite content to wait. People were so impressed by this little lady with cast who smiled and said she was happy to wait that they insisted she be allowed to cut in the line.

She asked that I accompany her to fill out her ballot and the poll workers graciously allowed me to stay with her. She shuffled along, hanging on my arm, and cast her vote. 

As we were leaving she said, “I really appreciate your doing this for me. But you and I both know I would have crawled here if necessary.

I’ve voted in every election, local, state, and national, since 1972. It seems illogical not to vote. Most of the time I’ve voted against someone versus for a candidate. But the lesser of two evils is sometimes the choice.

Marie and I walked up to our polling place at 6:10 this morning. There were a couple of cars in the parking lot and we were thinking we’d probably be one of the first ten to vote. Turned out we were number one and number two.

I was surprised, frequently, we’ve been waiting in line for them to open the doors.
Today’s election is to choose a replacement for Donald McEachin, who passed away right after the election back in the Fall.

Mid-term elections frequently have lower turnout than Presidential elections. And special elections like today, are equally difficult to inspire participation.

I believe everyone is a leader. There’s always someone watching. I’m asking you to lead. When given the opportunity to vote please do so. Our republic works best when we’re all engaged.

I hear people complain they think the system is broken. They don’t like any of the candidates. They think the process is corrupt. And most frequently, my vote doesn’t count.

There may be some truth in all of those statements depending on how your districts are configured.

Not voting however is not the solution.

Francis Bacon said, “The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good (people) to do nothing.

Don’t give up.

People shed blood so we could vote.

Don’t let them have died in vain.

The least we can do to participate in the wellbeing of our nation is VOTE!

And then look for other ways to lead.

Remember someone is always watching.

I’d Love to Hear from You

Any ideas on a going away gift for my grandson would be appreciated.

Til next time, 
Gayle Turner
Executive Producer

What’s Going On

Roman a clef @ Firehouse Theatre

Marie, her sister, Pat, and I attended the staged reading of a play in development. Roman a clef by Chandler Hubbard tackles domestic and sexual violence in an intriguing manner. I’m looking forward to when the play premieres. I was deeply moved by this haunting portrayal of the abuse of power, betrayal of trust and abdication of responsibility.

How Black Mothers Say I Love You

Marie and I are season subscribers to Richmond Triangle Players 

Saturday night we went to see How Black Mothers Say I Love You. Dynamic drama of the sacrifices mothers make for their children. The shows running for another week, catch it if you can.

Virginia Production Alliance

Saturday afternoon, I attended Part II – Master Class Workshop with Jesse Vaughan: How to deepen the experience of the actor and their connections at the Visual Arts Center.

I ran into my friend, Greg Provo, one of our storytellers and the CEO of Strategy Café.  It’s been 20 years since he started Strategy Café and 40 years since he toured as an actor in Are We There Yet? For Richmond Theatre Company. I’ve invited him to be a guest on my radio show. I hope we can make that happen.

Stories Matter! – Helping Leaders Transform Lives.

Our guest this Friday is Dan Schultheis  another of our storytellers and the former head of IBM’s Richmond office. Dan’s another personal friend. He’s the co-author of Willing to Buy  and The Willing to Buy Coach

One Million Cups

One Million Cups is a program of the Ewing Marion Kaufman Foundation hosted in Richmond by Open Trellis’ RVA Works at the University of Richmond’s Robins School of Business. Every Wednesday in over 100 cities across the country entrepreneurs gather to listen to presentations by fellow entrepreneurs to share the stories of their ventures and to answer questions.

Tomorrow, February 15 at 9:00am ET, I will be the guest speakers. Click on the link and scroll down for the Livestream link.  I will be talking about the changes here at The Storytellers Channel. 

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. 

– Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Love

Spoiler Alert – I love my wife.

It’s Valentines Day and I’ve been looking for a way to demonstrate how I feel. Something beyond the ordinary, the everyday. You would think this would be simple. A box of Chocolates. She loves chocolate. Unfortunately, she’s allergic. Wine? Allergic. Flowers?! Ditto!

Anybody who’s spent time with us has heard me say, “The number one way I show my wife I love her is I cook for her.” Over the years, her allergies have become such a problem that we tend to fix our separate meals in the kitchen, sometimes together, sometimes sequentially.

She loads the dishwasher. I help put the clean dishes away. I wash the pots and pans because, again, she’s allergic to the dishwashing liquids.

I asked her, “What can I do for you for Valentines?”

She said, “You don’t have to do anything. I know you love me.”

In the past, I would never have settled for this. There was no big gesture, no theatricality, frankly, no way for me to show off.

The more I thought about this the more I realized my propensity for big gestures were a way of showing off. Drawing attention to me and what a great boyfriend, lover, husband I was.

I have decided I am going to listen to her. I’m not going to do anything extraordinary for this holiday. We’ll make dinner together; we’ll eat together, and we’ll clean up together. And probably we’ll go to bed together at the same time.
I decided years ago that love is a verb. It’s about how we behave. Marie and I read The Five Love Languages book early on in our relationship and discovered we both experience and express love the same way: by kind words and touch.

That insight has made our relationship relatively easy to navigate.
But there’s one more gift I give her. I consciously strive to listen to her.
When she walks in the room I give her my undivided attention. Mute the TV, and turn my back to it so I’m focused on her and listen.

In that sense, Valentines Day will be no different than any other day, but in terms of a lifetime of making big gestures, this year I’m going for the simple act of hearing what she said and honoring it.

Happy Valentines Day, one and all.

I’d Love to Hear from You

Tune into Stories Matter! Helping Leaders Transform Lives this Friday and hear Dan share his impactful stories.

Til next time, 
Gayle Turner
Executive Producer

What’s Going On

84 Charring Cross Road

The Williamsburg Players is a community theatre about an hour from Marie’s and my home. As a former professional actor, when I hear community theatre my first instinct is amateurish.

We have a surrogate granddaughter, Stella, who attends William & Mary. We were looking for a way to engage with her while she’s been away at college.

When I learned a friend of mine was going to be in a play at the Williamsburg Players, we thought what a great excuse to go see Stella. We would take her to the theatre and dinner.

Last weekend Stella and her roommate suggested they take us to the theatre and dinner and as Marie had a conflict they took me to see the Sinfonicron Light Opera Company’s production of HMS Pinafore at W&M.

This past Friday night, Marie and I drove down and saw 84 Charing Cross Road at Williamsburg Players.

It was a wonderful production. The best show we’ve seen there, and we met people in the audience, who we have since befriended on Facebook.

We’re planning on repeating this strategy of subscribing to a theatre in a college town as a way of visiting students away from home next year when our grandson attends Lynchburg University.

In this day and age, it’s difficult to maintain relationships with our familial diaspora.

If you’ve got young people in your life, it takes energy to sustain the relationships. Dinner and show is a fairly effortless way. Even if it does require a road trip.

Uncle Vanya

Saturday evening, Storytellers Channel storyteller, Steve Saltzberg, and his wife, Sheila, hosted us for dinner and then we went to see the Richmond Shakes’ production of Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya. We ran into dear friends, Laine Satterfield and Rusty Wilson, in the line to be ‘wanded’ prior to admission. This was my first time being screened for weapons before entering a theater.

I dropped everybody off at the theater, found street parking a short five blocks up Grace Street and then had a brisk stroll back. Richmonders are offended by the idea of paying for parking.

The set was elegant, and the performances were excellent.

My former business partner, Melissa Johnston Price, who I interviewed on my radio show a couple of weeks ago is their production manager.

Chekov isn’t everybody’s cup of tea and frankly I struggled to stay awake during the second act, only because my bedtime is earlier than it used to be. But I am thrilled I got to see the show. It was my fourth play in two weeks and I marvel and the breadth and depth of talent in Central Virginia.

From college students, to amateurs, to professionals the work entertains and enlightens its audiences.

Mechanics of Podcasts
I recorded the show for this coming Friday this past Saturday. Storytellers Channel Storyteller, Steve Saltzberg, will share stories from his career. 

Steve worked for NASA when they were putting the first man on the moon and spent almost his entire career in IT on the cutting edge enlightening folks who didn’t understand what IT could do. 

Join us at 2:00pm ET this Friday February 10th on International Business Growth Radio.network.

Being my own producer and engineer is challenging. I’m gradually remembering skills I learned in the late 80s and early 90s. It’s taking less time to prepare,  record, and edit the show. 

Now, I have to work on consistency of vocal quality, volume level and ambient sound.

I appreciate the patience of my listeners while I work to master this process.

The Poe Project

I started out to record the entire Edgar Allan Poe canon back in 2018. I began experiencing vocal problems shortly thereafter. 

After, several years of gastro-intestinal and ENT visits the consensus is I’m using my voice wrong. 

I enter speech therapy next week and I hope to return to narrating this astounding body of work in few months. 

The future belongs to a different kind of person with a different kind of mind: artists, inventors, storytellers-creative and holistic ‘right-brain’ thinkers.” -Daniel Pink

Moments

Four hundred years ago, Francis Bacon wrote, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”

 
Can you remember moments when your world changed? You saw the world one way and then something happened, and you never saw the world the same way again? I’m reminded of the old V-8 commercials where the heroine laments her snack choice and says, “I could have had a V-8.”

A couple of months ago, I met a fellow named Barry Moore. Big guy. My height, but he could be two of me. Originally from New Jersey, he ran a car dealership here in metro Richmond for years. He now heads up the Better Business Bureau for Central Virginia.
I don’t know about you, but for me, the BBB has always been a benign organization. You’d see the sticker on the door of a business and subliminally it carried a “Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval” feeling. But I didn’t know what it meant or how you got the sticker. It was just something there in the background.

And then I met Barry, and he explained the role of the Better Business Bureau in a community and what it meant to be an Accredited Business.

I was born and raised in Virginia. We have a reputation for being polite. And so, when Barry was explaining the role of the BBB, I sat and listened. Not because I was particularly interested, but because (A) it was the courteous thing to do and (B) Barry is a force of nature, and he can be captivating. I mentioned he used to be a car salesman.

He asked me, “Have you ever had a bad experience with someone you’ve done business with?”

It was as if he’d touched a nerve. I launched into the story of the contractor who had built the addition on our house.

 
Years ago, a tree fell on our house. It crushed my wife’s car, damaged our roof and the siding on the front of the house. My brother-in-law, who I trust implicitly, recommended a company that had done some work on his business. The guy came, gave me a quote within what the insurance company was willing to pay, and he knocked out the job fairly quickly. The work was satisfactory.

So, when we needed to build a mother-in-law suite on the house so my mom could come live with us, I asked the guy for a quote. It was within our budget, and we chose him to do the work.

The project was a disaster.

Barry asked me, “Did you check him out on the BBB website?” I said, “No.”

He encouraged me to grab my phone and do so, just out of idle curiosity. I did and it showed the business was a BBB Accredited Business with an A+ rating.

I started to put my phone away and he said, “Look down the page.”

Then I saw he had 1 star out of five stars. I read the one review, which was horrible.

I asked, “How come he has an A+ rating?”

Barry explained that the rating system indicates whether or not companies respond to complaints. He said, “The BBB follows up on every complaint registered with them.”

The BBB doesn’t guarantee the business will settle the complaint to the customer’s satisfaction, only that the complaint will be investigated to confirm it’s a legitimate claim and that the business responds.

The BBB runs a thorough check on a business when it applies to be an Accredited Business. Application and acceptance indicate the intention to be a trustworthy business.

The company’s profile tells the whole story.

Considering the company had been recommended by someone I trusted, I may have hired them anyway regardless of their review on the BBB site, but I do know I would have asked my brother-in-law a few more questions had I read the review.

Since my conversation with Barry, I see the world differently.

 
When I see a BBB decal in the window of a business or the logo on their website or in their advertising I see them as pillars of the community. Leaders committed to protecting the community. Businesses willing to be held accountable. Even the contractor I was so unhappy with is willing to be held accountable. Hence, his Accredited Business status.

But the system doesn’t work unless we as a community participate. Had I checked out the business beforehand, I believe I would have asked more questions.

If others, had registered their complaints, I would have had more information. It’s too late for me to register a complaint now. But since my conversation with Barry, I decided to enroll The Storytellers Channel, Inc as an Accredited Business. We were accepted.

I’m proudly displaying the logo on our website and amending our marketing communications to display the logo, as well.

I’m checking to see if businesses I’m currently doing business with or considering doing business with are BBB Accredited Businesses. And if not, I’m asking, “Why not?”

And I’m telling this story to anyone who will listen. I hate the expression, Caveat Emptor, “Buyer Beware.” I don’t want to do business with people I can’t trust.

 
Being a Better Business Bureau Accredited Business is one way I’m doing something. It’s my way of joining with the other 3,300 Accredited Businesses of the 55,000 business in Central Virginia who are standing together to hold each other accountable. To protect the people who live in the 42 counties served by the Central Virginia BBB.

Mr. Jefferson wrote, “A well-informed electorate is a prerequisite to democracy.” This is also true of a well-functioning marketplace.

By becoming a BBB Accredited Business, The Storytellers Channel is standing up and saying we are willing to be held accountable. We wish to be worthy of our community’s trust.

And as a consumer in my community, I am now visiting the Central Virginia Better Business Bureau’s website before I do business with people now. I don’t just check whether they’re an Accredited Business. I don’t stop at their rating. I read the reviews and then I ask questions giving the business the opportunity to tell me their side beyond what’s written on the site. And then I make my decision.

I want to be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.

My conversation with Barry was a transformational moment in my life. I will never see the world the same again.

I trust, that now that you have read this story, you will reduce the chances of unsatisfactory business relationships in your future. Because you now know, you have a place to check so you can make well-informed decisions in the marketplace.

 
Together, we can eliminate fraud and force disreputable businesspeople to either mend their ways or suffer the consequences.

I’d Love to Hear from You

Tune into Stories Matter! Helping Leaders Transform Lives this Friday and hear Steve share his impactful stories. Steve’s work has transformed lives..

Til next time, 
Gayle Turner
Executive Producer